Medium Stephen Wakeling Answers Your Questions

Re: Do I really need to burn sage and cleanse my house so he will be free to move on?
By:Stephen Wakeling
Date: 24 August 2015

Dear Leigh

First of all please accept my condolences for your tragic loss. Nowadays, most questions received are for a message, or relate to the paranormal, which is of no interest to those who seek enlightenment. However your question does have depth and offers a spiritual reply.

During my everyday work, I spend many hours with people who are bereaved. Not always, but often devastated people who have had a long and loving relationship. The link between the ‘Two-Worlds’ in itself is simple: it is love. When we love someone - we miss them, of course, the more we love - the greater the depth of our sadness. It is easy to say they are in a better place; but this is no consolation to those in the depth of grief and sadness.

For that reason, let’s take a step back and look at the movement of life. A quotation I use regularly is from one of the world’s old and great religions, which says: “We move from eternity into this world and return back to eternity”. It is true... Our life, in the physical sense, may be for a second or a hundred years. A loved-one, like my father, may pass on at a young age. We may pass over at what we term a ripe old age. To those left in this world, it seems such a long time that we are apart. But the reality is our life is less than one single grain of sand in all the deserts of this world. Be that as it may, we miss our loved ones, not just physically, but emotionally and spiritually - though the bond of love will bring us back together again when the “Cycle of Life” is complete and we are reunited in the “Golden Light” of eternity...

The friend you mention seems to be qualified in many disciplines. Nonetheless, she doesn’t seem to have grasped the simplicity of spirituality understanding. First of all, there is no power in this world that is greater than that of the “World of Light”. We are travellers, like yourself - we are both in the “World of Matter”; your husband as you explained has now moved into the peace and tranquility of the “World of Soul, Light and Peace” - simply he has moved forward into eternity. Burning sage may appeal to some but it has no power or benefit, for your husband, or any other person, who has left this world. The idea is nonsensical, twaddle and pure hogwash and should stay where it belongs - in the old days of ignorance and superstition.

You say you are aware of the presence of your loved-one. When you totally accept the situation you are in, within your heart, both of you will gain inner-peace. Of course, people who have passed over worry about those in this world, because we are all inter linked in the family of humanity. Acceptance helps you both - allowing love to continue to blossom, until you meet again. Yes, we wish our loved ones where here, but we are within the ‘Cyclic Process’ of life, each of us at different points - until as I mentioned - the cycle of our lives is complete.

Bereavement is like an empty pit for many. Coming to terms with any loss takes individuals into a different pathway. Without going into the whole process of grief and bereavement, we have different ways. Generally there are ‘Five Characteristics of Grievers’: which are: The Nomad, Memorialist, Activists, Normaliser and Seekers. It would appear we are both “Seekers”. (I have placed a postscript below of more detail). I again note your awareness of your husband; this is a marvellous thing and should be the opening for you both, so try to move forward. This alone will help you to both realise that, even though intertwined, you still have your own singular and joint destinies.

I would suggest you find a quiet room, or a special place, like a garden, where you can spend time to relax, meditate, or just relax. As a suggestion, if you are at home, perhaps have a lit candle, dimed or shaded light, some flowers, a photograph or even light music and allow you mind to attune. This I am sure will help you. Work upon, allowing both of you to move forward with your lives, until the movement of time allows you to be reunited in the ‘Great Golden Light’, once you have completed your ‘Own Earthly Journey’, which will be, at some future point in time...

Kindest Thoughts - Showers of Blessing and Light


Postscript - The Five Characteristics of Grievers:

1. The Nomad

Nomads have not yet resolved their grief and they do not seem to understand the loss that has affected their lives.

2. The Memorialist

This identity is committed to preserving the memory of the loved one that they have lost.

3. The Normaliser

This identity is committed to re-creating a sense of family and community.

4. The Activist

This identity focuses on helping other people who are dealing with the same disease, or, issues that caused their loved one's death.

5. The Seeker

This identity will adopt religious, philosophical, or spiritual beliefs to create meaning in their lives.

Messages In This Thread

Do I really need to burn sage and cleanse my house so he will be free to move on? -- Leigh -- 18 August 2015
Re: Do I really need to burn sage and cleanse my house so he will be free to move on? -- Stephen Wakeling -- 24 August 2015