Medium Stephen Wakeling Answers Your Questions

Re: After a bad funeral
By:Stephen Wakeling
Date: 20 September 2014
In Response To: After a bad funeral (Lucia)

Dear Lucia

Thank you for your question, which in some parts I can provide an answer, in others I needed to ask advice from a professional contact of mine, who works within the funeral industry.

Let me explain? But first may I express my sadness at the passing-over of your friend. The point you mention of the ‘Butterfly’, can be either spiritual or coincidental. I am informed butterflies, like flowers, or animals, are often used for an ‘Order of Service’ at a Funeral. If the point about ‘Butterflies’ is spiritual, I suggest you open your mind to its meaning which, if of spiritual content, you alone will gain insight and an intuitive answer.

Now, we can look at you words in relation to the funeral, which you describe as being bad. Although I have officiated at funerals services, to provide an answer I needed to ask a professional contact, who works in the funeral industry. The important point though is the implication of there being a ‘Bad Funeral’. This is where not being versed in the technicalities, I have asked for professional advice on your question. Perhaps, you are or are not aware of the contractual obligations and responsibilities of the ‘Undertakers’. I gather you live in England.

As I understand, there are directives from the ‘National Association of Funeral Directors’ who have a ‘Contract’ between the next of kin, an executor, or a nominated person(s), from whom the Funeral Director take their instructions. In simple terms, the person often referred to as the ‘Main Mourner’ instructs the ‘Undertakers’ of their specific requirements. The bereaved family may not have wished for a ‘Funeral Service’, inclusive of prayers or religion-based affirmation. The ‘Funeral Directors’ have contractual obligations and without sounding negative, the process of the funeral is under the expressed wished of the person or persons who they have a contract with. Simply any other people have no say, even though we may have an emotional attachment or not, the funeral is not a matter for outside discussion or judgement, and sits wholly with the family or legal charge involved.

Your friend may have attended a ‘Spiritualist Church’; this doesn’t mean they are a Spiritualist. In truth, they could have attended many religious denominations, throughout the physical life. Again this doesn’t make a person religious...

The answer is rather simple. If you are so concerned, why not say a few words yourself. A church may suffice, though in the country-side, in a park, or private place – just say a prayer. There is nothing magical about saying a prayer, the word is basically described in the “English Concise Dictionary” as: “Pertaining to, or consisting of spirit; incorporeal. Or pertaining to the spirit or soul, as distinguished from the physical nature: a spiritual approach to life, closely akin in interests, attitude, outlook, to sacred things or matters; religious; devotional; sacred.

To make things very simple – why not just say a few positive words. From a spiritual perspective anyone who has moved forward from this world, are well beyond the rigours and drawback of religion, because they are all illumined in light, peace and harmony.

Kindest thought of spiritual understanding


Messages In This Thread

After a bad funeral -- Lucia -- 9 September 2014
Re: After a bad funeral -- Stephen Wakeling -- 20 September 2014